I got my Christmas wish 2 years ago.

It's been a while... I've been busy but enjoying my new role - as a mother to Alejandro IV. Yes, I've got my ultimate wish two years ago... the best Christmas gift i ever had... and Christmas has never been the same... more merrier and happier.

my best Christmas Gift

My Christmas Wish (on its 8th year)

It's been 2 years with no updates here... Time flies so fast, as well as my body clock is ticking. Its so hard to dwell on things I don't have control. Whatever God's plan for me and hubby... I keep on praying that I will fully understand and embrace it all heartedly.

Christmas is already in the air... shoppers around malls, Christmas songs, cold breeze. I have mixed emotions, happiness and sadness. Wishes are for free, I can wish anything but I have only 1 wish... A baby! Its been 8 years that i've been wishing and praying. Lord please heal my womb, make it healthy that I may be able to carry a baby to full term and deliver him/her in this world. I love to become a mother... Lord, please deliver my gift soon (I wish its gonna be a Christmas gift)

In time for Aunt Flo

Just as the BFP news from a friend, Aunt flo came on time. Hay, how sad… Everybody’s happy around me, except me. Pregnancies on my FB list of friends this week, Lord I am so sad. Of course I am happy for them, babies are always a blessing. They are blessed with babies, why can’t be me? Lord, grant me this desire I have been praying and wishing for the longest six years of our marriage. Grant me a happy heart.

Had a chat with a friend who’s also on the same journey, she’s also trying to conceive. I felt better after chatting with her. Yes, miracles do happen. Who knows, it might be a wonderful Christmas present for us!

Keeping our faith high and never losing hope!

The Power of PRAYERS

Hi again, i still have no good news about pregnancy. But the good new is, i am not loosing my hope... and still counting my blessings. Number 1 is that i have a loving husband.

I wanted to share this prayer which i got from my comfort zone website, girltalk. I hope this could help us in our roller coaster journey of trying to conceive. Let's keep on believing, let's keep our faith high that soon we will hold our babies.

Desire To Conceive, Fulfillment Over Barrenness
Father, we thank You that children are the heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward. Children are Your idea, Father; You brought up children, and family, and home. You instituted the family in the Garden of Eden. You ordered children; You commanded them when You said to Adam and Eve, "Be fruitful and multiply." You said that the barren womb is never satisfied. Lord, the Word declares that I am wonderfully and fearfully made by You; therefore, I'm perfect and able to conceive and have children. You said that I/my wife would be a fruitful vine by the side of our house and our children like olive plants around our table We are not ashamed but happy because our quiver is full of children (or arrows, as You call them).

Thank you, Father, that You designed and fashioned me/her, to have children, that in the Bible barrenness was the exception, not the rule, not Your will, not normal, something against Your plan and purpose. And in Your goodness and faithfulness every barren woman in the Bible who was godly and believed Your Word became pregnant; You opened her womb and bless her, and she gave birth to a precious baby just as I/she will. You make the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children.

You said, Father, that because You are our God and we are Your people and have a covenant with You that You will love us and bless us and multiply us and bless the fruit of my/her womb and that neither male nor female among Your people would be barren.
Father, we are redeemed form the curse of the Law by Jesus, and being barren is under the curse of the Law; therefore, we will receive from Your grace and have children.

Father, no plague, no evil shall come nigh our dwelling. We are healed by the stripes of Jesus. Sickness of any kind is taken out of our midst. You said to ask anything of You in Jesus' name and it would be done; and that if two of us on either agree as touching anything it would be done. So we pray and we agree with You and Your Word, Father, that we will conceive and bring forth a healthy, precious baby to Your glory and honor. We pray all this according to Your Word and will. You said, This is the confidence that we have in You, that if we ask anything according to Your will, You hear us; and if You hear us, we know we have the petition we desire of You, We have it now. Thank, Father, in Jesus' name.



Now, talk to your body:

Bodies, we speak to you in Jesus' name; You will come in line and agreement with the Word of God. You will respond to His holy Word. You will function properly and perfectly, the way God intended you to. Every part, every organ of our reproductive system conforms to the Word and plan of God as we come together in pure, martial love. Body, conceive! Be pregnant. Cooperate with God's plan; perfect ovulation, release of perfect eggs from the ovaries, through the fallopian tubes, penetrated and impregnated, fertilized by healthy sperm. Good solid attachment to uterine wall and nourished and protected for nine months (40 weeks) unharmed and unhindered. Grow to a perfect baby - spirit, soul, and body. Your Word says, Father, that none shall cast their young, nor be barren amount Your people and the number of our days You will fulfill. This pregnancy will be fulfilled. We decree it in Jesus' name and receive God's best; we won't settle for anything less in Jesus' holy name. Thank You, Lord, that it is so and done to Your honor and Glory. Amen.

excited for God's surprises!

Happy New Year! I'm embracing 2011 with full of hopes... and waiting for the wonderful surprise from heaven above. I'm thankful for the past year 2010, it was a tough one, but we've made it with God's grace and guidance. Hubby and i are keeping our faith HIGH, that soon, our greatest dream to become parents will come our way. Can't wait to be called 'nanay' or 'mama', so excited to hold those tiny fingers, to hold her/him in my arms and to sing her/him lullaby. Been crying lately, i'm feeling sad. Naiinggit ako, bakit ang iba ang dali para sa kanila ang magkaroon ng anak... Pakiramdam ko, nakatulog kaming mag-asawa nung nagsabog ng biyaya ang Diyos. I know it isn't right to feel this way. I feel sorry for feeling this way and i am praying for His guidance, that i may understand what i am going through.

I have read one of of Bo Sanchez article and it really inspires me: "Let God surprise you".

My two-week-wait... again

It's been 9 days past ovulation (i assumed day 14 as my ovulation). I've been feelin' mixed emotions, 25% excitement and 75% fear. I'm quite excited (has always been) because it might be positive... it's good to have positive thoughts. I've been noticing a very light brownish discharge these past few days. I don't know if this would mean a positive sign. But as days past by, i felt the fear that it might be negative again. If these would be another failed two-week-wait, i pray that i'll have the courage and strength to face another day of hope again. That my faith will give me more understanding of what we are going through. Oh Lord, let it be my two-week-wait a worth waiting for (for more than 5 years of waiting) this time. I wish that i could announce to the world how happy and blessed i am. Oh, i've been waiting for that moment for so long... Lord, have mercy on us and may You grant our wish... a positive HPT, morning sickness and cravings, my baby bump, our little angel. I'm very much ready for sleepless nights just for taking care of our bundle of joy. Just thinking all of these makes me feel excited!

When will it be? I really need lots of patience...

When it will be? Kelan nga ba? Para na akong punching bag na bugbog na sa katanungang yan. I hope and wish i can answer it... pero kahit sa sarili ko hindi ko magawang sagutin. Nakakaiyak isipin, nakakaiyak sa tuwing kami ay kinukutya na para bang hindi kami normal na tao. Sana mainitindihan nila kung ano ang pinagdadaanan namin, sana maintindihan nila na mahal namin ang isa't isa at higit pa yon sa pwedeng matanggap na biyaya mula sa langit. Hindi nga ba sapat ang pagmamahal sa mag-asawa, kakulangan nga ba ang hindi pagkakaroon ng supling? Hindi ba't bonus lang yon sa mag-asawa. Hanggang ngayon, umaasa at nangangarap kaming mag-asawa na isang araw kami rin ay maging isang magulang... magulang na magbibigay ng pagmamahal at pag-aaruga sa isang anak. Iniisip ko pa lang na may tumatawag sa akin ng Nanay ay lubos ang kaligayahan ng aking puso. Kumakapit pa rin kami sa pag-asa, at sumasalampalataya sa Maykapal na isang araw ay mayayakap namin ang isang munting anghel sa aming buhay.

A Prayer...

It's been a while i haven't posted here. I wish i have already a good news to share... but then its not yet our luck. Yesterday was fathers' day, how i wish hubby and i can celebrate it. Just to ease the pain, i didn't open TV (kunwari nalang hindi fathers' day). Recently, i heard the news that my brother-in-law's wife is on her way to motherhood. It's a blessing for the family... i am happy that finally my mom-in-law who's been longing for a grandchild will soon be granted, and also felt sad for myself =(. While browsing the GT (my favorite website wherein i can relate with the wanna be moms like me in their journey), i came across with this prayer which i wanted to share:

Lord, help me to know that You are enough. Take my eyes off of myself. Take my eyes off of the child I desire. Help me to delight myself in You. Mold the desires of my heart to be in line with Your will. I don't want to need to be a mother more than I need to be your humble, obedient child. I don't want wanting to have a baby to be a stumbling block between You and me anymore.

Lord, I want to give this desire, this drive, this ache up to You. Help me not to snatch it back as I so often do with the burdens I place in Your hands. Help me to be truly content with Your will and Your timing.

Lord, You know that I still desire a baby - someone to mold, teach, train, shape, guide, and help to grow in You. But until the day You give me that joyous blessing, help me to grow in You. Let me reach out to those around me. Let me witness and minister to the children You place in my path.

Lord, if adoption is the path You would have us take, prepare our hearts, and prepare the child who will share our home. If adoption is not Your will for our lives, keep me from pushing ahead of Your plan. Help me to stay submitted to my husband's will, and to Your will. If we are headed in the wrong direction, change our hearts.

Thank You for lifting my burden. Help me to keep You first! Let me seek Your face daily, and let me know that You are enough!


This is really a wonderful prayer, every time i read this, it lightens me and somewhat eases the burden i felt. People around us may not understand what we are going through as well as we may not understand them whenever they keep us bugging questions and annoying comments but each day, i pray to God to help us make stronger, to have an open heart of acceptance of whatever His plans for us. At the end of the day before i go to sleep, hugs and kisses of hubby melts all my burdens. Despite all these things, i feel so blessed.

longing... hoping... wishing that someday...

It's been a month since i had miscarriage. Yes, finally i got pregnant naturally. hubby and i was so happy... it was my first time after 4 years of waiting that finally we got a big fat positive. hubby was telling me that he will be going back to Obando (we were there during the feast day last May, and we went there dancing) because it was his promise that when i will be getting pregnant, babalik sya doon.

It was July 25, 2009 (also our patron Saint James feast day) when i found out that i was pregnant. We were so delightful, my heart is so happy. At first it was a faint line, we even tested so many times until lines were much visible. Hubby and I went to my OB July 27, but unfortunately my OB was not around.. I heard days after that her husband died. We decided to go to another OB, i know i really have to go for check up. When i was 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant (aug1, saturday), i went to another OB since my OB is not yet around but then there was no gestational sac found yet. She told me that it was yet too early kaya hindi pa makita. And on that day also, we found out that i also have a UTI and i have to undergo medications. She only gave me a very low dose of antibiotics because i am pregnant that time.

Sunday morning (august 2, 2009), i had a brown disharge. Kinabahan na ako that time, i had a strange feeling. Pinapalakas ko yong loob ko, i was telling myself na hindi naman sya blood. hubby told me not to worry and just have a bedrest nalang. Monday, i went to work at may brown discharges pa rin. On that night, after peeing i saw blood in the toilet bowl. I was crying... i knew then that my pregnancy didn't continue. Hubby was comforting me that time. But i know, my hubby was crying too it's just that he didn't want me seeing him crying. I was crying the whole night... nakatulugan ko na nga ang pag-iyak ko. The following morning, the bleeding stopped. Hindi din napuno ang sanitary pad na ginamit ko. So my hopes went high again... naisip ko na baka implantaion bleeding lang un. I even asked hubby to buy another PT. I tested again and still, there was a faint line (which means positve pa rin). so i told myself na buntis pa rin ako. I didn't go to work that day so i can have bedrest. August 5, hubby and i went back to my OB. I had TVS, and she told me that i had a weak pregnancy. She told me that i really got pregnant but it's just that it didn't continue for some reasons: maaring weak daw ang egg ko, or weak ang sperm ni hubby or weak ang combination of both sperm and egg; another reason might be chemical pregnancy.

Our emotions were like a roller coaster. Sad to say that my pregnancy didn't continue. It's so sad, until now while typing my story... i can't help but cry. But i have to move on... hubby was telling me that we will try gain. Practice makes perfect sabi nga. The 2 weeks i had knowing that i am pregnant was really a happy feeling... sobrang saya ng pakiramdam. I will always treasure that moments and sana sa susunod, i will have a safe and healthy full term pregnancy. I'm feelin' better now... yet still coping. There are times na nalulungkot pa rin ako, pero sa tuwing makikita ko kung gaano ka-supportive at maalaga si hubby nawawala lahat ng lungkot ko.

To all moms-to-be, enjoy each moment being pregnant and take care always! And for the wanna-be-moms that are waiting like me... let's keep our faith high, sooner darating din time para sa atin.

Summer time... wishing for a baby

summer na naman, maraming mga get together at outings with family and friends... and for sure marami na namang questions sa amin ni hubby kung bakit until now wala pa rin kaming baby. if i could only answer them when...

we've been married for almost 4 years (4th anniversary namin sa May 8), how i wish we will receive the greatest gift we have been wishing before our anniversary. we've been to different OB's for work ups, but then until now wala pa rin. I wish we can afford expensive work ups such as IVF but then hubby and I are just ordinary income earners. Nakakapagod na rin kung minsan...financially and emotionally draining but then, I'm keeping my faith high and patiently waiting. I believe God has reasons, and I believe that miracles do happen in His perfect time. He is just testing us how patient we are.

Sometimes i cry a river... lalo at nakakarinig ako ng hindi maganda from insensitive people around me, looking at me as an abnormal married woman just because i cannot get pregnant. They will bug you with questions like "o wala pa?, or wala pa kayong baby? which obviously alam naman nilang wala pa. Hay, annoying talaga. I just keep in my mind that they can never understand our situation because they haven't been there.

I'm glad i can blog them here and express what I'm feeling, and most of all thank God I have a loving and supportive husband. For now, i just enjoy hubby's company habang wala pa ang pinakahihintay naming munting anghel. Weekend getaways muna kami. Pag dumating si baby, we know that it would be a different one... that definitely our baby will be our no. 1 priority.

Sa mga katulad kong hanggang ngayon ay naghihintay, let us keep our faith high (sana makulitan na si Lord sa mga dasal natin) and patiently wait... Good things come for those who wait. Baby dust to us!

Life isn't fair, but it's still Good!

I cried this morning (can't help it). I'm hurting... I never thought that someone close to us would say things like that. Akala ko pa naman sila ang isa sa mga taong higit na makakaintindi sa pinagdadaanan namin, bagkus sila pa ang nagbibigay ng kabigatan sa aking kalooban. Gusto kong itanong sa sarili ko kung tama lang ba na magalit ako... o maaring sensitibo lang ako. I just wanted to think that maybe they don't really know what we are going through, or maybe because they were never in our shoes to say things like that... Life isn't fair, but it's still good. Having each other is a blessing, having a baby will be an extra blessing for us. Sana lang maintindihan kami ng mga taong nakapaligid sa amin. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanila na hindi madali para sa amin ang pinagdadaanan namin at higit naming kailangan ang kanilang panalangin, pang-unawa at suporta at hindi ang kung anu-anong sabi-sabi sa ibang tao. I'm trying not to get affected, pero hindi ganun kadali para sa akin... how can I when all i want and dreamed of is to become a wife and a mother. I hope and pray that God will listen to my heart's desires...

done with Luprolex shots

I finished my last shot of Luprolex last December 29, 2008. At last!

I don't have my menstruation period yet... my day 56 to be exact (last time was November 19, 2008). I'm experiencing hot flashes every 20 minutes, good thing the weather is cold since last December. Hubby would always see to it that my back isn't wet. He puts hand towels or paper towels in my back because i keep on perspiring even if it's cold.

I hope i can go back to my OB soon... as soon as i have my period. I wish that my endometriosis was treated, so we can start our work up again. I wish that we will be blessed with the greatest gift we have been waiting for this year... baby/babies!

Baby dust to all those who wishes to have!

Battling with Fertility Threats

Haven't posted for quiet some time...

I've been to my OB the other day (day 4 of my cycle)... for my fertility work-ups again. I told my doctor regarding the pain i had been experiencing for the previous months during my menstrual cycle. She told me it might be symptoms of endometriosis. She had me checked... transvaginal ultrasound and IE. Endometriosis is starting... Oh my! Another fertility threat! Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa... parang guguho ang mundo ko. Hindi na nga yata matatapos ang pakikipaglaban ko sa infertility issues. Just few days ago i heard one of my friends is on her way to motherhood. Alam ko masama ang mainggit, but i couldn't resist. Can't help but wish that sooner i'll be on my way to motherhood.

My doctor told me that i need to have Luprolex shots for 3 months (every 4 weeks). I was surprised that this injection was so expensive. It costs P5,000 per shot. Parang gusto kong mahulog sa kinauupuan ko upon hearing it. Hubby told me that money does not matter here, what's important is my health and for the sake of having a baby. I can't help but cry... i felt so devastated. I just closed my eyes and prayed... "Lord, we cannot afford such expensive treatments and the like for having a baby. We lift everything to You... and it is only You who can help us with this battle. Make my doctor Your instrument in fulfilling our greatest dream. May Your will be done."

I had my first shot of Luprolex last November 3. I waited for the medicine for almost 6 hours, naubusan ang aking doctor ng stock because just in the morning one of her patients took 2 shots to be brought in Australia. She called one of the MedReps for another delivery. It's not available on pharmacies since its quite expensive and cannot be stocked and cannot be disposed easily. I have to finish 3 shots, my second shot will be on December 1, and last shot will be on December 29. I will be seeing my Doctor after i finished my Luprolex shots and have my menstrual period on day 2 or 3.

I'm keeping my faith high... and patiently waiting. For now, i wanted to forget what i am going through. I lift everything to the Lord. I want to live my life to the fullest... make the best in everything I do. I want to close my ears with criticisms of other people treating me as an incomplete/abnormal married woman. I know they will never understand what I am going through because they have never been there. Hubby just told me last night, "heart, don't cry and don't be sad, malalagpasan natin ito". Thank you Lord for giving me such a wonderful husband... for giving me my source of strength. Sorry if sometimes my eyes can't see how blessed i am.

Begin each day with Folic Acid

I started taking Folic Acid last year. Folic acid is a vitamin found in many foods and multivitamin supplements. It's especially important for women who are pregnant and also for women trying to get pregnant because folic acid can help prevent birth defects. Folic acid can reduce certain birth defects of the brain and spinal cord by more than 70 percent. These birth defects are called neural tube defects (NTDs). NTDs happen when the spinal cord fails to close properly.

The most common neural tube defect is spina bifida. This occurs when part of the baby's spinal cord remains outside the body. The baby may have paralyzed legs and, later, may develop bladder and bowel control problems. The most serious neural tube defect is anencephaly. The baby is born without part of its skull and brain, and eventually dies.

Folic acid also may help lower your chances of getting heart disease and some types of cancers. It may help protect you from having a stroke, as well.

There are three ways women can get enough folic acid. They can choose to:

• Take a vitamin supplement containing 400 micrograms of folic acid daily, or
• Eat a fortified breakfast cereal daily which contains 100% of the recommended daily anount of folic acid (400 micrograms).
• In addition, increase consumption of foods fortified with folic acid (e.g., "enriched" cereal, bread, rice, pasta and other grain products) in addition to consuming food folate from a varied diet (e.g., orange juice and green vegetables).
  

FOODS WITH FOLIC ACID

Enriched Breads and Grains

Breads and grains contain added folic acid.
Serving size is 1 piece.
All kinds of breads, rolls, muffins, tortillas, bagels, nan, pizza rust, waffles, pancakes. Serving size is 1/2 cup.
Rice, pasta, bulgur, barley, millet.
Wheat germ (2 tablespoons).

Fortified Cereals

Excellent sources.
Read the nutrition label on the cereal box to learn how much folic acid is provided. Many cereals, both hot and cold, generally provide 25% of the daily recommended amount of folic acid.

Fruits and Vegetables

Serving size is 1/2 cup unless otherwise noted.

• Spinach, cooked
• Asparagus
• Turnip greens, cooked
• Artichoke (1)
• Collard greens, cooked
• Orange juice
• Mustard greens
• Broccoli
• Corn, fresh, frozen or canned
• Orange (1)
• Green peas, fresh, frozen or canned
• Beets
• Brussel sprouts
• Parsnips
• Okra, sliced

Serving size is one cup unless otherwise noted:

• Spinach, raw
• Iceberg lettuce (1/4 head)
• Romaine lettuce
• Raspberries, frozen
• Turnip greens, raw
• Celery
• Pineapple juice, canned
• Swiss chard, cooked
• Sauerkraut
• Cauliflower
• Papaya
• Bean sprouts
• Green pepper
• Blackberries
• Tomato juice
• Cantaloupe, casaba orhoneydew melon
• Winter squash, including acorn,
• Hubbard, butternut;
• Baked Green or wax beans
• Italian green beans
• Plantains
• Strawberries
• Cabbage, raw

Beans and Peas

They may be purchased dry, frozen or canned. Serving size is 1/2 cup unless otherwise noted.

• Cranberry beans
• Lentils
• Pink beans
• Adzuki beans
• Black beans
• Chickpeas (garbanzos)
• Pigeon peas
• Great Northern beans
• Black-eyed peas or cowpeas
• Navy beans/white beans
• Pinto beans
• Split peas
• Kidney beans
• Soybeans
• Lima beans
• Tofu, firm
• Peanuts (1 ounce)
• Peanut butter (2 tablespoons)

Protein Foods

• Whole eggs (cooked), one egg
• Liver

Convenience Foods

The following are good to very good sources of folic acid:

• Instant Breakfast (powdered mix added to milk)
• Bean with bacon soup (canned)
• Chili with beans (canned)
• Refried beans, canned or homemade
• Pork and beans or baked beans (canned)
• Spaghetti sauce (jar or canned)
• Lentil soup (homemade or canned)
• Black bean soup (canned)
• Bean burrito
• Frozen waffle (Nutri Grain or Eggo)

So for wanna-be-mothers like me, start loading with folic acid! Baby dust to all!

It's a New Day! It's a New Hope!

It's been a while I haven't been here... I felt so sad these past few days. It was a failed month again. I thought it was already positive since i was delayed for 2 days. Hubby and I was so excited, only to find early morning of Saturday that i already had my period. I kept on crying for days... hubby kept on hugging me, murmuring everything has a reason, maybe it's not yet our time to become parents... and maybe God is still wrapping the best one for us. Hubby's telling me that maybe God wanted us to go to Iloilo and Boracay. It was hubby's condition that if I am not pregnant we will attend our friend's wedding in Iloilo but if I am pregnant, we will not attend.

I was really in pain... pain in my heart and in my tummy (i was having menstrual cramps for 3 days). Well, right now I am doing fine. Acceptance is the key and it's a new day, a new hope for us! I keep praying hard that if it may not be the right time for me, i hope i can accept whatever is really for me. Hubby and I wanted to enjoy every moment... I don't want to think right now of getting pregnant, I don't want to look at the calendar. I wanted to relax and have my daily routine without any stress and pressure. What we do now is eating healthy foods (it may help our reproductive system healthy), exercise and relax, watch movies and teleseryes, and enjoy each others company. We may not have what others have, but i am happy and blessed with what we have. At the end of the day, I know that we have each other to face tomorrows with hopes.

Bambino

This is an image of infant Jesus in a crib.

I hope i can find this one... though they say that it is better if this is given as a present to couples who wants to conceive. People say that once you have this by your bedside, you will be gifted with a child. Oh! My ultimate wish! It has brought luck to some. I hope this brings good luck to me, too! Baby dust to me and to those who wishes to have!

Gender Predictor – Will Your Baby Be a Boy or a Girl? - Results

Are you having a boy or a girl? Use our Gender Predictor tool (based on the Chinese lunar calendar) to find out!

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Just wondering... i'm hoping and wishing that finally my dream of becoming mother will come true! Dear Lord... i know that YOU know what my heart desires. Let Your WILL be done.

all about pregnancy issues

Last Sunday, hubby and I just stayed at home... cooking, cleaning the house. This is our bonding moments with hubby. Hubby cooked mongo beans with malunggay leaves, hmmm, one of my favorites! I have read that this is also good for the health especially for those who are trying to conceive. It was a lazy afternoon... i locked myself watching tv on the sofa after my turn of washing the dishes (since hubby was the one who cooked). =) And hubby stayed in front of the desktop computer playing his favorite NBA game. I'm a multi-tasking person and i felt bored just watching tv doing nothing. I grabbed my bead's kit and made some accessories for our store. I finished 2 sets of earrings and bracelet and one pair of earrings.

We had our merienda before going to the church for Sunday mass. And again, i watched tv. To my surprise, all the evening tv shows i watched was all about pregnancies! Is this a sign... oh here i a m again obsessing.

Rated K is one of my favorite shows, hosted by Ms. Korina Sanchez... one of its segments was talking about 9-month inside mother's womb. How the baby develops inside the mother's womb from day 1 after the conception. It's really amazing how the baby grows inside... and it's really a miracle. Wishing, wishing, wishing for that miracle too. After that show, I switched the channel.

Mel and Joey... again about pregnancy. I watched that there is now a dance for pregnant mothers which is called "sayuntis" (sayaw ng mga buntis). It's like belly dancing, but before doing this dance, you have to get clearance from your doctor. And this usually done after the first trimester of the pregnancy. Another issues discussed was about postpartum depression. I never thought that this is really happening... but based of what i have watched with the interviews, it's really happening. New mothers should be taken cared of just as like the newborn babies. Husbands and new fathers should show how they appreciate and love their wife and should be there in every way to support them.

Sundays wouldn't be complete without watching this TV sitcom... FUL HOUSE! Vic Sotto and Pia Guanio's (Ful and Grace) are married couples having hard time conceiving. Of course I can relate what they were going through especially when they are being teased by the people around them. And to my surprise with their episode last night, Grace (Pia Guanio), after the long wait of conceiving is now finally pregnant! I felt I was Grace and hubby was Ful while watching... for sure i would also be feeling what way when our time comes to be pregnant. I tried to hide with hubby, but really tears rolled unto my face.

Right now, I wanted to keep myself busy... and i wanted not to think about getting pregnant. But how can I? When all I want is to become pregnant... and soon be a mother. I'm keeping my faith high... that soon I will also have that miracle inside my tummy.

the 2-week wait

The two week waiting is emotionally stressful for me. I'm on my 1st cycle of Clomid after my long rest period of 6 months from my work ups for 2 years. Today is my 1 day past ovulation. Hay, it's making me crazy... looking for signs and symptoms that I'm already pregnant. I really wish my period won't come, and finally have the big fat positive!

Right now, I'm busying myself with work. Though I am thinking to buy PT kit later. I don't know if this is just psychological maybe because I am just sleepy. The symptoms of early pregnancy and when one's about to have her period are almost similar. Here I am again obsessing...

For those who are trying to conceive just like me, let's just keep on praying for a miracle in our tummy. Baby dust!

Follicular Monitoring

I went back to my OB Gyne yesterday for my follicular monitoring (it's the 11th day of my cycle). Good news, the sizes are good and the dominant follicle is on my right ovary. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will be the month and hoping to have the big fat positive!

Follicular monitoring is done through transvaginal ultrasound. Follicles are fluid-filled sacs on the ovaries that enlarge as eggs ripen. Each follicle contains an immature egg. Each egg in the ovaries is enclosed within a resting follicle. Every day, thirty to thirty-five of these resting follicles begin their eighty-five days of development toward eventually trying to ovulate. At any time, a view into your ovary reveals follicles (with their enclosed eggs) in every stage of resting or growing. There are early primordial, or resting, follicles; there are somewhat larger primary follicles; there are larger pre-antral follicles (which are beginning to form a fluid-filled space); and there are antral follicles, which are just becoming visible under ultrasound at a size of approximately one to two millimeters in diameter. In addition, at midcycle, on day fourteen, there is normally a dominant pre-ovulatory follicle. After ovulation, that follicle becomes a corpus luteum, which begins to secrete progesterone.t is often erroneously thought that just one follicle develops every month, during the first two weeks of the cycle, ultimately culminating in a large, twenty-millimeter follicle from which the egg is ovulated at approximately day fourteen (in a typical twenty-eight-day ovulatory menstrual cycle). Development of this single, dominant follicle every month with its increasing production of estrogen, and the entire regulation of the monthly cycle via the pituitary hormones of FSH and LH, only gives a tiny part of the picture; it only shows what is happening to one egg in an ovary that contains, in a fertile young woman, as many as 200,000 eggs. That one egg that was destined to ovulate, developed as the single dominant follicle out of the thirty or so much smaller pre-antral and antral follicles, which had been developing in the ovary for as long as seventy days prior to the beginning of the current twenty-eight day menstrual cycle.