Life isn't fair, but it's still Good!

I cried this morning (can't help it). I'm hurting... I never thought that someone close to us would say things like that. Akala ko pa naman sila ang isa sa mga taong higit na makakaintindi sa pinagdadaanan namin, bagkus sila pa ang nagbibigay ng kabigatan sa aking kalooban. Gusto kong itanong sa sarili ko kung tama lang ba na magalit ako... o maaring sensitibo lang ako. I just wanted to think that maybe they don't really know what we are going through, or maybe because they were never in our shoes to say things like that... Life isn't fair, but it's still good. Having each other is a blessing, having a baby will be an extra blessing for us. Sana lang maintindihan kami ng mga taong nakapaligid sa amin. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanila na hindi madali para sa amin ang pinagdadaanan namin at higit naming kailangan ang kanilang panalangin, pang-unawa at suporta at hindi ang kung anu-anong sabi-sabi sa ibang tao. I'm trying not to get affected, pero hindi ganun kadali para sa akin... how can I when all i want and dreamed of is to become a wife and a mother. I hope and pray that God will listen to my heart's desires...

done with Luprolex shots

I finished my last shot of Luprolex last December 29, 2008. At last!

I don't have my menstruation period yet... my day 56 to be exact (last time was November 19, 2008). I'm experiencing hot flashes every 20 minutes, good thing the weather is cold since last December. Hubby would always see to it that my back isn't wet. He puts hand towels or paper towels in my back because i keep on perspiring even if it's cold.

I hope i can go back to my OB soon... as soon as i have my period. I wish that my endometriosis was treated, so we can start our work up again. I wish that we will be blessed with the greatest gift we have been waiting for this year... baby/babies!

Baby dust to all those who wishes to have!

Battling with Fertility Threats

Haven't posted for quiet some time...

I've been to my OB the other day (day 4 of my cycle)... for my fertility work-ups again. I told my doctor regarding the pain i had been experiencing for the previous months during my menstrual cycle. She told me it might be symptoms of endometriosis. She had me checked... transvaginal ultrasound and IE. Endometriosis is starting... Oh my! Another fertility threat! Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa... parang guguho ang mundo ko. Hindi na nga yata matatapos ang pakikipaglaban ko sa infertility issues. Just few days ago i heard one of my friends is on her way to motherhood. Alam ko masama ang mainggit, but i couldn't resist. Can't help but wish that sooner i'll be on my way to motherhood.

My doctor told me that i need to have Luprolex shots for 3 months (every 4 weeks). I was surprised that this injection was so expensive. It costs P5,000 per shot. Parang gusto kong mahulog sa kinauupuan ko upon hearing it. Hubby told me that money does not matter here, what's important is my health and for the sake of having a baby. I can't help but cry... i felt so devastated. I just closed my eyes and prayed... "Lord, we cannot afford such expensive treatments and the like for having a baby. We lift everything to You... and it is only You who can help us with this battle. Make my doctor Your instrument in fulfilling our greatest dream. May Your will be done."

I had my first shot of Luprolex last November 3. I waited for the medicine for almost 6 hours, naubusan ang aking doctor ng stock because just in the morning one of her patients took 2 shots to be brought in Australia. She called one of the MedReps for another delivery. It's not available on pharmacies since its quite expensive and cannot be stocked and cannot be disposed easily. I have to finish 3 shots, my second shot will be on December 1, and last shot will be on December 29. I will be seeing my Doctor after i finished my Luprolex shots and have my menstrual period on day 2 or 3.

I'm keeping my faith high... and patiently waiting. For now, i wanted to forget what i am going through. I lift everything to the Lord. I want to live my life to the fullest... make the best in everything I do. I want to close my ears with criticisms of other people treating me as an incomplete/abnormal married woman. I know they will never understand what I am going through because they have never been there. Hubby just told me last night, "heart, don't cry and don't be sad, malalagpasan natin ito". Thank you Lord for giving me such a wonderful husband... for giving me my source of strength. Sorry if sometimes my eyes can't see how blessed i am.

Begin each day with Folic Acid

I started taking Folic Acid last year. Folic acid is a vitamin found in many foods and multivitamin supplements. It's especially important for women who are pregnant and also for women trying to get pregnant because folic acid can help prevent birth defects. Folic acid can reduce certain birth defects of the brain and spinal cord by more than 70 percent. These birth defects are called neural tube defects (NTDs). NTDs happen when the spinal cord fails to close properly.

The most common neural tube defect is spina bifida. This occurs when part of the baby's spinal cord remains outside the body. The baby may have paralyzed legs and, later, may develop bladder and bowel control problems. The most serious neural tube defect is anencephaly. The baby is born without part of its skull and brain, and eventually dies.

Folic acid also may help lower your chances of getting heart disease and some types of cancers. It may help protect you from having a stroke, as well.

There are three ways women can get enough folic acid. They can choose to:

• Take a vitamin supplement containing 400 micrograms of folic acid daily, or
• Eat a fortified breakfast cereal daily which contains 100% of the recommended daily anount of folic acid (400 micrograms).
• In addition, increase consumption of foods fortified with folic acid (e.g., "enriched" cereal, bread, rice, pasta and other grain products) in addition to consuming food folate from a varied diet (e.g., orange juice and green vegetables).
  

FOODS WITH FOLIC ACID

Enriched Breads and Grains

Breads and grains contain added folic acid.
Serving size is 1 piece.
All kinds of breads, rolls, muffins, tortillas, bagels, nan, pizza rust, waffles, pancakes. Serving size is 1/2 cup.
Rice, pasta, bulgur, barley, millet.
Wheat germ (2 tablespoons).

Fortified Cereals

Excellent sources.
Read the nutrition label on the cereal box to learn how much folic acid is provided. Many cereals, both hot and cold, generally provide 25% of the daily recommended amount of folic acid.

Fruits and Vegetables

Serving size is 1/2 cup unless otherwise noted.

• Spinach, cooked
• Asparagus
• Turnip greens, cooked
• Artichoke (1)
• Collard greens, cooked
• Orange juice
• Mustard greens
• Broccoli
• Corn, fresh, frozen or canned
• Orange (1)
• Green peas, fresh, frozen or canned
• Beets
• Brussel sprouts
• Parsnips
• Okra, sliced

Serving size is one cup unless otherwise noted:

• Spinach, raw
• Iceberg lettuce (1/4 head)
• Romaine lettuce
• Raspberries, frozen
• Turnip greens, raw
• Celery
• Pineapple juice, canned
• Swiss chard, cooked
• Sauerkraut
• Cauliflower
• Papaya
• Bean sprouts
• Green pepper
• Blackberries
• Tomato juice
• Cantaloupe, casaba orhoneydew melon
• Winter squash, including acorn,
• Hubbard, butternut;
• Baked Green or wax beans
• Italian green beans
• Plantains
• Strawberries
• Cabbage, raw

Beans and Peas

They may be purchased dry, frozen or canned. Serving size is 1/2 cup unless otherwise noted.

• Cranberry beans
• Lentils
• Pink beans
• Adzuki beans
• Black beans
• Chickpeas (garbanzos)
• Pigeon peas
• Great Northern beans
• Black-eyed peas or cowpeas
• Navy beans/white beans
• Pinto beans
• Split peas
• Kidney beans
• Soybeans
• Lima beans
• Tofu, firm
• Peanuts (1 ounce)
• Peanut butter (2 tablespoons)

Protein Foods

• Whole eggs (cooked), one egg
• Liver

Convenience Foods

The following are good to very good sources of folic acid:

• Instant Breakfast (powdered mix added to milk)
• Bean with bacon soup (canned)
• Chili with beans (canned)
• Refried beans, canned or homemade
• Pork and beans or baked beans (canned)
• Spaghetti sauce (jar or canned)
• Lentil soup (homemade or canned)
• Black bean soup (canned)
• Bean burrito
• Frozen waffle (Nutri Grain or Eggo)

So for wanna-be-mothers like me, start loading with folic acid! Baby dust to all!

It's a New Day! It's a New Hope!

It's been a while I haven't been here... I felt so sad these past few days. It was a failed month again. I thought it was already positive since i was delayed for 2 days. Hubby and I was so excited, only to find early morning of Saturday that i already had my period. I kept on crying for days... hubby kept on hugging me, murmuring everything has a reason, maybe it's not yet our time to become parents... and maybe God is still wrapping the best one for us. Hubby's telling me that maybe God wanted us to go to Iloilo and Boracay. It was hubby's condition that if I am not pregnant we will attend our friend's wedding in Iloilo but if I am pregnant, we will not attend.

I was really in pain... pain in my heart and in my tummy (i was having menstrual cramps for 3 days). Well, right now I am doing fine. Acceptance is the key and it's a new day, a new hope for us! I keep praying hard that if it may not be the right time for me, i hope i can accept whatever is really for me. Hubby and I wanted to enjoy every moment... I don't want to think right now of getting pregnant, I don't want to look at the calendar. I wanted to relax and have my daily routine without any stress and pressure. What we do now is eating healthy foods (it may help our reproductive system healthy), exercise and relax, watch movies and teleseryes, and enjoy each others company. We may not have what others have, but i am happy and blessed with what we have. At the end of the day, I know that we have each other to face tomorrows with hopes.

Bambino

This is an image of infant Jesus in a crib.

I hope i can find this one... though they say that it is better if this is given as a present to couples who wants to conceive. People say that once you have this by your bedside, you will be gifted with a child. Oh! My ultimate wish! It has brought luck to some. I hope this brings good luck to me, too! Baby dust to me and to those who wishes to have!

Gender Predictor – Will Your Baby Be a Boy or a Girl? - Results

Are you having a boy or a girl? Use our Gender Predictor tool (based on the Chinese lunar calendar) to find out!

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Just wondering... i'm hoping and wishing that finally my dream of becoming mother will come true! Dear Lord... i know that YOU know what my heart desires. Let Your WILL be done.